Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
organizing the empties. That sober.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
