well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
