He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
