I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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