I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I want her autograph on my taint
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
My life is pants optional.
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