dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
