she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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