Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
