from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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