So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
