What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
