I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
