sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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