there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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