i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
