he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
