Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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