I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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