I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
the liver wants what the liver wants
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
