She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
