just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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