Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
