Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
