so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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