South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
