i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
