Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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