She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
