I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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