we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
