He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
