I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Randomize
