so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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