I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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