Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
