every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I love having hate sex.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
