i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
