Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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