Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
