I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
