Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
