I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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