I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
