**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
they need to just BURY HIM!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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