i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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