I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
