hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
