He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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