Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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