dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She bit a glass in half.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
