You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
